Sex is a Pretzel

After being with the same man for a long time it can get boring. Let's be honest! We've all been there....

If you haven't then, you need to replace you batteries! Just saying.

Where was I? Oh yea....

The beginning;
When you start with your relationship it's all nice and you receive the massages and all the "kneading" just like the beginning of a pretzel. Your rolled and the sex stretches on for a while. You wrap your legs around from one position to another until your all formed like a pretzel and covered in butter.

As time goes by things start to change a little so you may comment about the wonderful length of the beginning actives therefore a little extra care is given which is the equivalent of being a cinnamon and sugar dipped pretzel.

So you may be asking yourself where I am going with this. Unless you are there you may even be confused!

Have you noticed how Auntie Ann's have started filling pretzels with meat?

It's the same as a long time relationship.

You get this half raised, sometimes burnt, soggy, maybe doughy dried up limp shell of a pretzel with a piece of meat shoved inside.

May you have a hot and fluffy butter filled day!
GiGi

No more weekly spelling tests?

With the last minute shopping to get my boys ready to go back to school, I obviously didn't get close to opening my laptop. (I say this with sarcasm.) I haven't figured out why exactly but it seems on the days that I have to get up and go first thing, I just don't feel like looking at the computer  once I have get home.

Oh well, the boys started back yesterday. This is a day that I dread since they get out for the summer. I honestly love having them home with me. Even on the days they drive me crazy with fighting and arguing, it is better to have them than when the house is completely silent and no one is around. You would think I would get more work done when they are gone, but no! I tend to do better when they are home. Of course, the teen claims it is because I have him do everything. Oh, if he only had a clue.

As I am sitting, reflecting on the past week that I was unable to blog, I am also looking back at the last couple of years. I guess it is normal with the new school year starting and the boys are at the next grade level. It makes me sit and wonder about all the things that they have done already and all of the things that they are getting ready to experience. 

They are expected to do so much homework and are taking tests to make them more productive and better people. However, I feel like the schools are missing the point. There are so many levels that seem to be missing. Handwriting is horrible. Spelling is one other level that I feel is being swept under the rug. I suppose my biggest complaints for these two subjects is because they were subjects that I did not pay attention to and as an adult, I have been embarrassed by not knowing what I should know. 

As both boys are completely different in all of their school habits. These subjects are both hard for them. I blame their dad for the horrible hand writing but as far as the spelling. Well, that would be my fault but I also don't understand that the boys are in the 6th and 10th grade levels and neither of them have spelling tests weekly. We had them until I graduated. Unless my old mind is remembering that wrong. 

So that leads me to a question... Does your kids have weekly spelling tests?  What grade level do they stop? 

Thanks for all who can help me with this puzzling mind blocker...

Texas Tuesday

Well y'all  all good things come to an end. Today is the last link up for Texas Tuesday.

The wonderful ladies are putting it on the back burner. Their youngin's are keeping them busy with

other life changes. New adventures have come their way. I am so excited for them both and look forward to reading the posts that will detail their new discoveries in life.

So what to blog about today?

 There are so many things in Texas.

 We have the gulf coast, and the miles and miles of West Texas. The trees of East Texas. 

The miles and miles of lakes. From Lake Sam Rayburn in the East to Falcon lake in 

South Texas/Mexico.  Lake Austin to Lake Fort Worth. Possum Kingdom to Livingston. 

We have some of the best.  

Cities....

Yep those are the biggest and best also.

Houston is listed as the #1 shopping city by Forbes which I defiantly agree with. 

Plus in my opinion it is the best city in Texas! 

Of course that will bring you into a long time feud with Dallas! Everyone from Dallas tends to think they are better than Houston. It is a fun time. But like any good family. We can pick on each other, but lord help you if you pick on the State of Texas! 

We will back each other up! Just as the slogan goes, "Don't Mess With Texas" 

Also like every family, the State of Texas has the weird ones. We call them Austin!

You can even buy memorabilia that claims to "Keep Austin Weird"!

Like any family you always go to that one place to gather. We call that San Antonio.

It is the #1 tourist attraction in the U.S.A. and since it is in our own backdoor we tend to go visit also.

Country...

We have miles of that also. From the small towns of Gruene to Canton.

From El Paso to Texarkana. You can find small towns everywhere.

Some may be wet and some are dry. But we are all happy to be Texans!

So I guess I answered my own question.
Blog about the people and the whole state of Texas.
After all,
It is a whole other country!

What people wear!

So heres the thing. We are at Reliant Stadium for the first preseason game for the Texans. Every game brings out the odd and strange, I am used to this. You always have the drunks and the people out to have a good time. I get that part. I was young and liked to have fun also, I just never did it to the point that I made a complete jackass out of myself.

To start off, why do people where jersey's of a team that is not playing in the game your are attending?
This is something that has puzzled me and I have never really had a good answer.

Also you have the people that wear a jersey of a quarterback that has not played for your team since 2006?

This guy comes up and sits in his seat with a jersey of a quarterback that has been to two other teams and currently at his third! I guess that wasn't as bad though. His wife/girlfriend is half lit by the time the game starts. After a few more beers she obviously was to drunk to see the field anymore so she pulls out her Victoria Secret's catalog (who carries that in their purse) and starts asking the man what he likes. Sometime in between all this, she must of stumbled somewhere because we notice her crawling up the stairs to her seat. Yes, I mean crawling and I am not making this chit up. She had black marks on her knees. Thankfully by halftime she passes out. I mean passes out! Head bobbing, mouth hanging open. Now mind you, she was on the end of the aisle. So every time someone would go up and down the stairs they would point out that she was passed out. The dude would just laugh. What are people thinking?

That doesn't even get close to the story that takes the cake.
We have aisle seats so we get a good view of people coming and going to the point it drives me crazy at times. Unfortunately the three that left me a little speechless... ok not speechless, I was all over twitter with this. A man and two girls come up and sit down right in front of teen and tween. First off you notice that Her 1 has a face full of metal piercings and eyebrows drawn across to her hairline! I would of thought it was a mistake. But hell, you can't screw up twice. It matched on each side. I gotta give her kudos for that. Hell I can't get my eyelashes drawn on right half the time. Not my fault God gave me one eye longer than the other. Oh yeah, not about me today! Ok so Her 1, metal in tow, eyebrows and all has on a purple halter top that shows her midriff and all the tattoos around her belly. So as they slide down the aisle to take their seat, I think: "Oh great, can this get worse" YEP! That answer came so quickly I was eating those words as fast as I could choke on them. Her 1 turns to sit, when she does her yoga pants slide halfway down her butt exposing her thong with the dangly gem in the middle. Which time teen decides to thankfully have morals and gag! Unfortunately, his gag was loud enough that I am sure she caught on. Oh well, you dress funny you should expect to get laughed at.

Moving on to Him. He seemed somewhat normal. At least by the way he dressed. The Her 2 was dressed in yoga pants and and tank top. Which I feel was a little indecent but hey! At least it was covered.

Instead of going into to much detail I thought I would just share with you what I tweeted and a friends comment! 

Is that not the funniest reply!

There's a girl.

So as I had posted about my teen and not knowing what a deodorant stick is and I have to beg and plead with him to take a shower and brush his teeth. Well you lovely readers gave me advise that it would all change when a girl enters the picture. So let me share with you the evidence I found.

Exhibit 1 ~ Wet Towel

I found a wet towel in his bathroom. This has happened

everyday this week. Without asking! 

Exhibit 2


The toothbrush was wet and the pimple cream
had been used. 



Upon seeing the evidence I waited to ask if a girl had
entered the picture and it was confirmed that their was one!




Oh brother!
I'm thinking cheers!

Let's Decorate, Texas style...

Texas Tuesday Time!

Decorating Texas style has been something that I really never gave much thought to as it was normal.

However, being a retired Army wife and living in many states with other people from other states

and even other countries. I came to realize just how proud of our state Texans are. In all the years

of military housing, I believe whenever you walked into a Texans house you knew it. It was decorated with either a combination of a clock shaped in the Texas state shape. A sign explaining the ever popular sayings  "God Bless Texas" or possibly "Texan spoken here".

This got me to thinking that I would share with you a few things that I found on Pinterest that

I either have the exact same thing. (giggles) Not sure why but I enjoy seeing that I have good taste.

I also thought I would share with you a few of our special Texas style of decorating.

Source: txtraders.com via GiGi on Pinterest

Pinterest

 

 Mine

Source: txtraders.com via GiGi on Pinterest

Pinterest

 Mine 

Source: Uploaded by user via GiGi on Pinterest

Mine

Source: texascozycabins.com via GiGi on Pinterest

Pinterest

My Red Door..

Texas Flag 

 In Texas, we have a way of coming together regardless...

Even though our house is divided,  I ask for prayers for the families

 and the college of Texas A & M University.

Oh Happy Day! Blog Awards...

I am so honored and completely tickled pink that the wonderful and great ladies of:

J @ An Unstyled Life
and
Nikki of Dysfunctional Dose

Have each given me and my little blog,
 The Versatile Blogger Award!

I am so honored that my ramblings have gained so much 

support and wonderful friendships into 

my life that I would have never had otherwise.

Here are the rules for the Versatile Blogger Award

1. Thank the Blogger who nominated you.

THANK YOU J and Nikki!!

 2. Include a link to their site.

An Unstyled Life and Dysfunctional Dose

 3. Include the award image in your post. 

 4. Give 7 random facts about yourself.

 5. Nominate 15 other Bloggers for the award. 

 6. When nominating, include a link to their site. 

 7. Let other Bloggers know they have been nominated. 

 7 random facts about me:

1) I watch cartoons,  sports, and country video's

2) I hate grocery shopping!

3) I procrastinate about everything

4) I have 6 tattoo's

5) I raised and showed sheep in 4-H and FFA growing up

6) Went to collage on a softball scholarship. Center field 

7) Both of my boys were birth control babies

 (yet the hubs can't hit the lottery... hehehe)

So here are my nominees.....

Trials and Triumphs of Loving My Sailor
What Makes Savanah Smile
Bubblymuppet
GOODBYE Yellow Brick Road
Betwixxt
Country Zzzz's
Your Doctor's Wife
Trailerhood Arstocrats
Girlfriends Are Like Shoes
Just a Southern Girl Livingthe City Dream
Buried with Children
Cindy's Grand Adventures
bullfrogs & bulldogs


And of course for the last two...
I have to give these to the ladies that gave them to me!

Though they do not have to give again.
They can bask in the greatness!
 I read both of these ladies blogs every day.
I  enjoy, cry and stress with every emotion,
setback and triumph that they are going through.

With all my hugs and love...
Cheers everyone and Congrats!

Who are you?

As we get older and all the crap of life starts shifting south, (not just our boobs) No, really I am gonna be kinda serious now. For my readers this is a very abnormal post from me.

Normally everyone comes here for a chuckle, not today. It's OK if you want to click the X! I don't mind because actually, I am blogging to hear my heart sing! 

Something I don't do often enough is level with anyone. What I do instead, is become very withdrawn and either completely stop functioning or I try to cover my depression up and make everyone think that I am "OK" when in fact, I am deeply depressed.  You may wonder how my family can not see this and I am here to tell you,  I am a wonderful actress. I truly deserve and Oscar. Having kids that are old enough to take care of themselves and understand that mommy has a headache, makes it easy. Not to mention a husband that works shift work and friends that think I am always busy with another friend. A  nifty survival technique I have.

I have always been a very happy go lucky kind of person. This all changed a few years ago when my parents passed away.  Years of PTSD buried deep from when I was younger, came to a full boil and finally bubbled over. The fact that having depression and being OCD combined together  has caused me so many problems that if addressed earlier, I would of healed so much faster. After the loss of my parents I started pushing myself to be the best. I tried to compensate to my boys for not having grandparents anymore. I was going to prove that we were a normal happy family. I tried to shelter my boys from the loss of their grandparents by not talking about them. Act "normal" don't "allow" anyone to see you hurt. Or just how much you are hurting. I felt that I had to be perfect for my husband also. My thoughts were always along the lines that, he works hard for our family. The least I could do is make sure his clothes were clean, food cooked and a wife that had it together. After all, who wants to come home to a blubbering women everyday. I sure don't!

After about a year of being supermom, wife and friend. PTO president. Being the perfect person, trying to keep everything together with my parents estate being settled. It happened. My body finally gave out. I was trying to help my husband build a gazebo by our pool. Then I started to remodel our bathroom.  Somehow I messed up my neck, leading to a year of pain medicine, neck surgery and 6 months of hell in one of those neck collars.

When you are unable to drive or do anything for yourself, it can be a very reflective time. Unfortunately, I did not do it correctly. What I mean, is I got mad, sad and had to deal with the pain. The pain in my heart. {Not the neck (hehe)<--still silly. Ok so I have issues.} Anywho,
the pain in my heart became easily dumbed with pain killers. I also found it easy (which floors me now) to be able to get pain killers. It is amazing how many people that are OCD and untreated whom revert to painkillers to "just" make it through. Because they feel that they are not perfect, not normal, not the best!

As I said earlier, it was very easy for me to hide this from those near to me. I could literally function fine when everyone was around me. As soon as I was alone, it became unbearable. I learned that what I was going through, is called anxiety and is very treatable.  I had no clue. I just didn't want to know or feel. I wanted to be numb. So I would take pain killers and sleep. I slept on and off like this for almost the whole school year. Looking back, I can see how easy I did it.

Supermom came crumbling down!

 My youngest son came home from school and the worst thing happened. I missed a program at his school! Of course he is standing by my bed, in the complete darkness, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Explaining to me that he understood that I didn't feel good. The whole time all I could think, I forgot it! What kind of a mom, little lone a stay at home mom does that?

After I cried every ounce of my soul. I got myself up and got all the pain killers out of my system. However, I still suffer with depression. I knew what it was all along. I just couldn't face the doctor and actually tell him, that at times, when I couldn't breathe, I thought I was loosing my mind.


 Blogging has given me so much insight into who I am, who I want to be and also who I want the world to see. This is the first step. I am a mother, wife and lover of people! I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in perfection. I would of laughed at this diagnoses, but now that I suffer with depression because of it and know that it really is a diagnoses. A very serious one that goes untreated.  Many of them are just like me. Stay at home mothers that feel as though they have to be perfect in every ones eyes.

Since the diagnoses and the understanding of what is going on and that it is perfectly OK to be me.
I have come to the conclusion, with the help of all the blogs and bloggers out there that I am me and that is good enough. I don't want to me "normal" as I feel that word is just another word without meaning. I want and I am going to be me! 

From G~strings to Cornholy ~O, We scared the street people!

Hello and Happy Hump Day!

Just got home from a wonderful two days in San Antonio.

We did the normal tourist attractions.
 We showed the city off to my niece and

let her see all the wonderful sites and history
of  the Alamo and traditions of Texas.

The memories that we created as a family!
 I know she will remember more than the
dates and times of what, when and where...
 events happened in San Antonio.

Of this I am positive!

Kids in the Alamo Garden.

Jack and "teen"  enjoying a moment at the restaurant.

{a normal pic}

Linsey on the trolly...

 these are all the "normal" family pictures.

Interestingly enough,
probably not the highlights of the trip...

What's this you ask?

A story?

Oh yeah....

On the first night in San Antonio...
 we did the normal thing all tourists do,

went to the Riverwalk to eat dinner and  

enjoy each others company.

Well of course,
 that is where our family is not normal!

As you know,
 the Teen is somewhat interesting and Jack, well
lets just say the apple did not fall far from the tree!!

Que. picture...

As they were goofing around with napkins on their heads...

{sorry pictures are dark}

The waiter comes up and the "teen" says to him...

Hey, 

I like you G~Shock,

{g-shock is a watch}

Jack only hears "G~"

 and starts to spew
 rum & coke across the table...

{thought teen said "g-string"}

 why? 

who knows..

I am thinking to myself...

Oh Holy Bat Balls!

Then the Teen took it one step further and says,

I want a pink one!

So the poor waiter turned and ran for the door!

If only the story ended there...

 We are walking back to the hotel,

 and a street person starts to follow us.

 I tell my niece to slow down, 

{she was walking too far ahead}

Her reply came from The Wizard of Oz...

I will release my flying monkeys...

Oh holy bat balls I give up...

Then from the back of our family train I hear...

I am Corn Holy O!

I turn around to see my husband and the tween 

with t-shirts up around their heads.

Can you see the silhouette?  

Jack yelling, "I need T.P. for my bung hole" 

Then I notice the poor homeless sole,

 running the opposite direction!  

Bless his heart...

Life is good!

Bless Her Heart...

Hey Y'all!

I am currently on a mini vacation,
 showing off our wonderful state of Texas to my niece, 

whom is from Washington and never been to Texas before. 

I wanted to pop on real quick and say Hi!

 and show you a few pictures I have taken

 through my windshield this week.

Hopefully J and Amanda

will be ok with these pictures and I promise next weeks

link up will have a neat story. I just don't have the time to write it now...

Only in Texas do you see pizza on a motorcycle.

My view on Thursday night.

Houston Skyline

Taken Monday as we were leaving..

In Texas,

We just say,

Bless her heart!

Not very often am I rendered speechless.

However, 

this fashion faux pa walked by me... 

 I thought I'd share...

Have a great day...

                                                               

Sunday Snaps

Hey all!
Happy Sunday!

I know what you are thinking?

Gigi, is posting on a Sunday?

I was invited to join in on a new link up with 

the wonderful:
 Sarah of "City Girl Gone Country"

and

Jules of "A Beautiful Day". 

It's a picture link up and y'all know how challenged

I am with the camera so my pictures are coming from my phone. 

This picture was taken on the lake where we go fishing. I have caught a fish in

this cove every time we have fished there and I hope to continue. 

{Here fishy, fishy fishy} 

Field of Bluebonnets

We take a yearly Harley ride when the Bluebonnets are in full bloom,

it is beautiful to see nature in all it's glory!

This is an old barn that is located on a friends farm. 

I wish I would of had my real camera with me. The phone

just doesn't capture how the sunlight was shooting through

the cracks in the barn. 

Everyone have a wonderful week...

Dear Vodka, no headache please

Dear Blog,
Sorry I have been absent,
I have missed you and love you so...

Dear readers,
My niece is here from out
 of town until the 10th...
So I may not be here everyday.

Dear hubby,
You rock,
You allow me to take
 care of my family
and all you say is,
"whatever it takes"

Dear boys,
You make me happy!

Dear house,
Will you please clean yourself!

Dear family,
Could you please respect each other!

Dear friends,
If you can't respect me...
You will loose me...
Sorry, but August 1st became
I'm me, deal with it!

Dear Vodka,
You make me relaxed and happy.
For that I really could consume you more.
If you could just do your part
 and not give me a headache.
M'kay!

Y'all have a great weekend!